Vayishlach: I Have Everything

By Yoni Laub

The other day when I got to school, as I was getting out of the car, I remembered that it was “Anything but a Backpack Day” in honor of North Shore’s “Spirit Week.” I had totally forgotten to bring a suitcase or laundry basket and realized that I didn’t have anything but a backpack. I decided to just

grab my laptop, a sefer, and a bottle of water and walk into school holding them in my hand. While doing this, it occurred to me that I don’t need all of the things that are usually in my backpack—I have everything that I need.

When Yaakov has his much-anticipated reunion with Esav, he tries convincing Esav to accept his gift by saying וְכִ֣י יֶשׁ־לִי־כֹ֑ל—“Hashem has favored

me, and I have everything” (Bereishis 33:11). Rashi dichotomizes Yaakov’s self- description of “having everything” with Esav saying that he has רָ֑ב—“plenty”

(33:9), explaining that while Yaakov has all of his needs taken care of, Esav is boasting that he has even more than just his needs taken care of. The Kli Yakar understands the different phraseologies by the brothers in the opposite way. When Esav says that he has “plenty,” it means he has a lot, but not quite everything. Conversely, Yaakov does not just have “plenty”—he has“everything.”

Rashi and the Kli Yakar are often understood as having differing perspectives on this conversation. On the surface, Rashi understands that Esav

seems to have more, while the Kli Yakar suggests that Yaakov has more. Perhaps, though, these two approaches can actually synthesize and complement each other. Esav has “plenty,” which, as Rashi explains, is more than he needs. But Esav always wanted more. Even when he had more than he could ever need, he still, as the Kli Yakar says, desired more. On the other hand, Yaakov has “everything.” That means that he has everything he needs, but he

also understands that everything he needs is everything he could ever want. The lot in life that Hashem had given Yaakov provided for all his needs and was, therefore, all that he could ever desire.

One of the things that made Yaakov and Esav so different was the disparity between their mindsets. This difference proves important in its application to many parts of our lives.

Financially, someone with the “Esav mindset” is never going to be content, no matter how much financial security or freedom he has. As he climbs up the monetary ladder, he will always compare himself to the person on the next rung who has more than he does. He will surely be a victim of lifestyle creep, which means that as he makes more money, his expectations will rise, and he’ll want more expensive things, fancier clothes, and more lavish

vacations. The luxuries he reaches for today will become necessities tomorrow. He’ll never be happy with what he has.

On the other hand, someone with a “Yaakov mindset” appreciates what he has and acknowledges the bracha that Hashem has given him. He works

hard and doesn’t shortchange the necessary hishtadlus, but he has emunah and hakaras hatov every step of the way. One way this manifests is through generosity and giving. Maybe he’ll take a vacation or indulge in a luxury from time to time, but he does so humbly and modestly. Someone with the “Yaakov mindset” recognizes that everything is from Hashem and appreciates when he has all that he needs.

Spiritually, this message is a little trickier. When it comes to material goods and desires, the proper mindset is to be content with what we have and not

always look to have more. Spiritually, though, we should be ambitious and constantly strive to reach greater heights. Definitionally, a ben Torah always

looks to grow in his Yiddishkeit. But this message of “hakol” may still apply even in the spiritual realm. Sometimes, even though we have “plenty,” when we feel like we don’t have “everything,” we can start to feel dejected. We may lament that our background isn’t strong enough or that we’re not smart enough. We might look at others and feel like we’re not doing enough, and because of that, become demotivated and fall back instead of taking steps forward. Maybe the “Yaakov mindset” is about being happy with who we are and proud of the accomplishments and abilities that we do have, and through that healthy attitude, taking slow but steady strides toward continued spiritual growth.

Finally, when we’re young, we often daydream about the future and wish we could already be there. We may imagine having kids and seeing them grow,

achieving our career aspirations, and getting through the years of uncertainty to reach the stage where we’ve accomplished everything we set our minds to. At the same time, though, people who have already attained all this and reflect on their success often reminisce about when they were young and starting out, with the world and their future in front of them. Sometimes, people who feel overwhelmed by having a loud and messy home (because they are zoche to

have children) joke that in a few decades they’ll have more peace and quiet when the kids are out of the house. Those same people, though, may feel lonely

as empty nesters and miss the days when they could see their children every day.

In simpler terms, a “Yaakov mindset” means living in the moment and appreciating that the stage of life we’re in is exactly where Hashem wants us to

be. While it’s natural to feel burdened by the challenges in our lives and imagine a time when those issues will have been resolved, there’s value in embracing where we are right now. I heard Rav Dov Singer loosely darshen the words in Shema, "לֹא תָתֽוּרוּ אַחֲרֵי לְבַבְכֶם וְאַחֲרֵי עֵינֵיכֶם", to say that we shouldn’t look

toward other lives or circumstances—we should embrace the place we are in. In benching, we ask Hashem to bless us כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּרְ֒כוּ אֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ, אַבְרָהָם יִצְחָק

,just as our forefathers were blessed—Avraham, Yitzchak“—וְיַעֲקֹב: בַּכֹּל, מִכֹּל, כֹּל and Yaakov—in all things, from everything, and with everything.” May Hashem not only bless us to have everything, just like our Avos did, but also to recognize and appreciate that we have it all.

Good Shabbos!