Ve'eschanan: Keeping the Main Thing the Main Thing

By Yoni Laub

A few months ago, I bumped into a friend who was in his first year of law school and his first year out of Yeshiva at Maariv. After davening, I went over to catch up and asked him how law school was going. He responded sharply, "It’s always interesting to see who asks me how law school is going and who asks me what I’m learning." I was taken aback. In my mind, he’s in law school, so it made sense to ask about it. But for him, law school is just one part of his life—it doesn’t define him. At his core, he’s someone who loves Talmud Torah. His education and future career are important, but they’re not the essence of who he is. For him, Torah learning is the main thing.

A few parshiyos ago, the tribes of Reuven and Gad approached Moshe with a request to settle in the land east of the Jordan River instead of entering Eretz Yisrael. They said it would be beneficial for them to stay there "for the sake of their cattle and their children" (במדבר לב:טז). Moshe rebuked them for placing the cattle before their children. Rashi explains that Moshe was teaching them a critical lesson: to keep what is essential, essential, and what is secondary, secondary—"Make the primary thing primary and the secondary thing secondary" (רש"י עלבמדבר לב:טז). Their cattle, representing their livelihood, was certainly important, but it should never come before their families. In other words, Moshe is teaching them to keep the main thing, the main thing.

This theme of prioritization is echoed in our parsha, Parshat Va'etchanan, in the Shema: "וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ וְדִבַּרְתָּ בָּם בְּשִׁבְתְּךָ בְּבֵיתֶךָ וּבְלֶכְתְּךָ בַדֶּרֶךְ וּבְשָׁכְבְּךָ וּבְקוּמֶךָ" (דברים ו:ז) — "You shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk on the way, when you lie down, and when you rise." Rashi comments on this verse: "Make them the principal matter and do not make them of secondary importance" (רש"י על דברים ו:ז).

Rashi isn’t saying that Torah is the only thing we’re allowed to talk about, but he emphasizes that Torah and Avodas Hashem should be the foundation of our lives. While academics, finances, and hobbies are significant, these pesukim remind us that our ultimate focus must be on avodas Hashem. We must live this way to model it for others.

Dovid Lichtenstein, in his “Halacha Headlines” podcast, once pointed out that children don’t just pick up on what their parents say, but on how they say it. He gave an example: if a father at the Shabbos table dispassionately shares a Dvar Torah but speaks with excitement about Jeff Bezos or LeBron James, the children will pick up on what the real values and interests of the home are.

Having outside interests and hobbies is positive, and it isn’t inherently wrong to talk about LeBron James. However, Torah and Avodas Hashem should hold greater importance. While finances are necessary for supporting ourselves and our families, prioritizing them over family or Torah is a misappropriation. In other words, these other things can be spoken about and valued, but Torah, Avodas Hashem, and family must remain the main things. And let’s keep the main thing, the main thing.