Miketz: Decisions Decisions

By Tuvia Goldstein

One of the classic questions on Yosef’s behavior is why he doesn’t immediately reveal his identity to his brothers. Why the need for the elaborate accusations and machinations? Why continue the pain of his father and torment his brothers? Just tell them who you are! The רמב"ן answers that Yosef needed to fulfill his two dreams, the first of which only involved his brothers bowing to him. Only once all his brothers bowed to him could the second dream be fulfilled, which involved his father as well. Therefore, he needed to get Binyamin to come to מצרים without his father, even if that extended the pain of his father.

However, many מפרשים question that approach of the רמב"ן. Is it really that important to fulfill the dreams? Was there a mitzvah for Yosef to fulfill the dreams? Is it his job to ensure that they are carried out, or is that the responsibility of God?

Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky offers a deep insight that provides a new perspective on the entire story. He explains that Yosef was trying to demonstrate to his brothers where they went wrong on that fateful day when they sold him up the river. On that day, the brothers passed judgement on their brother quickly and effortlessly, deciding that he was irredeemable. They stepped through the decision process sure-footedly, without questioning the consequences of their verdict. Therefore, Yosef’s entire goal is to demonstrate the dangers of being so quick to judgement. Yosef’s every move is designed to throw them off balance. The outlandish accusation that they are spies immediately throws them into a panic. They are terrified to discover their money in their bags. He forces them into the uncomfortable position of demanding that Yaakov allow Binyamin to come to מצרים. He shocks them by seating them in age order. They are stunned by the accusation that they stole Yosef’s goblet and are even more confused when the goblet is actually found. In one of the most climactic פרשה endings, Yosef issues the ruling that the brothers dread most, that Binyamin shall stay behind as an עבד for his crime.

All of these gut-wrenching moves drive home the point that one can never be entirely sure of their next move. One does not maintain total control over their life, and therefore, decisions must always be made with a certain degree of uncertainty. Sometimes, decisions need to be reevaluated and reconsidered. Personally, this point is very significant for me, especially in the realm of בין אדם לחבירו. When approaching difficult interpersonal decisions, we must be extremely thought out and contemplative in making that decision. The words we use and actions we take must be seriously considered. When we criticize, we must carefully weigh our words.

Additionally, regarding what to do with the money that was still in their food bags, they trust Yaakov’s judgement, to take the fruits of א"י, along with extra money. That could’ve been a related message that Yosef was trying to drive home. When facing difficult decisions, one needs to consult with those older and wiser. Just like they consult with their father about handling the situation they find themselves in, they should’ve consulted Yaakov as to how to deal with Yosef. This message is equally important for us. We are all young and when we face what seems to be a crisis, we need to realize that there are those around us who can help us. Whether it’s a rebbi, a parent, or an older friend, we need to realize that there are those who can understand and empathize with our pain.