Naso: Controlled Reactions and Balanced Living

By Elie Shapiro

We have all heard the saying that “You can’t always control what happens, but you can control how you react.” Is this really true? How do we ensure that outside influences don’t impact how we react? Immediately following the section of the סוטה, the Torah tells us the laws of the נזיר. Rashi quotes the Gemara in סוטה that the reason for this juxtaposition is because when one sees the events of the סוטה (seemingly due to a drunk night from wine) it will lead them to becoming a נזיר (abstaining from wine). Seemingly, becoming a נזיר is an appropriate reaction to seeing the downfall of the סוטה.

However, the רמב׳׳ן notes that becoming a נזיר is actually not ideal, as seen from the fact that we offer a קרבן חטאת, a sin offering, at the completion of the process. The reason for a חטאת at the conclusion is because you took something מותר and made it אסור. Yes, the נזיר is on a high level of קדושה, but this comes at the cost of not being in the world; it comes at the cost of being unable to elevate worldly items in the service of Hashem which is a loftier, albeit more difficult, achievement.

How then could this possibly be the best reaction to the case of the סוטה? If this isn’t ideal, as the רמב׳׳ן explains, how could the Torah teach us that what is happening with the סוטה should impact your decision to become a נזיר? Rav Schachter quotes the רמב׳׳ם who says that a person should always live according to the middah beinonis, but if someone is working on a specific middah or they live in a time when a certain middah is being pushed too far in one extreme, then the person needs to go to the opposite extreme to offset what is happening. For example, Rav Schachter says that nowadays our generation is plagued by the terrible problem of cheating in business and therefore we need to be extra scrupulous in business and go above and beyond. Even though it seems superfluous, it's what is necessary for our times. If things balance out, then one can go back to the middah beinonis.

But where did the Rambam learn this idea from? The Maharitz Chayes answers that the Rambam got it from our Gemara in Sotah about the juxtaposition of the Sotah and Nazir. If someone is accused of being a sotah, something is clearly wrong with the generation. In such an atmosphere, the only possible answer is to go to the opposite extreme. Sometimes, staying firm in the middle, requires one to sway to the extreme.

In other words, in order to stay in complete control of our reactions, we need to take all variables into account, including the times in which we live. As we look ahead to whatever life throws at us, let us remember that we can control our reactions, and we must do so in a way that takes all aspects of life into account, including the influences of our surroundings and the times in which we live.

Hopefully we can take the message of the נזיר to heart and learn that when life throws curveballs at us, we should look towards Hashem and try to react in a way that is representative of רצון ה׳. That way we’ll hit a homerun.